WHAT Is Your First Love?

It’s true you can’t kill your first love, no? There are others that their first love is their passion.

In the Kdrama “My ID is Gangnam Beauty,” the mother of the male lead tried to be a good mother without dropping her passion as a perfumer. Her husband wanted her to just stay in the house and look for their family. They didn’t agree with each other, and resulted in divorce.

I have just come to realization that I already had a first love: music.

And yes I guess, we’ve also broke apart. It was when a lot of negativity surrounded me that.. I won’t be a musician.

I remember I decided to just….. forget being a musician…

Cause I got nothing that time: no means, no idea where and how to start, no equipments, nothing… How can you even begin??? I didn’t even come from an average rich family so I knew I have to work hard. So why not just forget. Since I’m not in my right mind to make decisions about my life that time, so I just forget. As I have looked back on it, my heartbreak was like a relationship with a man. Only didn’t cry because I’m determined to forget but the sorrow remained a little longer…


I’m actually been playing guitar since 2008. But nothing is special, as I have said I only know the basics. I wouldn’t played for a few months, turned to a year, and a couple of years. Kind of on and off. Plus I have to set priorities to help my parents after I graduated high school, so I put aside my enthusiasm. Couldn’t really focus on my dream that time.

Then what happened to my passion? Honestly I want to remember when I forgot it and when it returned, but my memory of it maybe lost already. Eventually it returned to me, I discovered more songs and bands! I remember I asked God if the fire in my dream is from Him, which the answer is yes! Definitely! The fire in my dream never left! It’s really like I ran out of fuel so the fire faded…

Although I’m still struggling with some things until now to make my dreams come true, I’m also trying to be calm and let things just flow.

I just really want to go with the flow…

~ 🎼 ~

By the way I hit thisπŸ‘‡πŸ»πŸ‘‡πŸ»πŸ‘‡πŸ»


Thank you all so muuucchh!

The horror movie that disturbed me… a little

Okay, so before I get to that movie, and I could still talk about horror movies, right? Because it’s November? The other night, my siblings and I watched “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.” Here’s what I thought of it:

  • apparently it’s for kids and teenagers, not for adults who look for more intense and terrifying ones
  • a bit scary, like when the scarecrow started to walk towards Tommy
  • I didn’t understand the true nature or intention of the stranger who turned to be their friend. And I even supposed that he’s bad, that he has hidden agenda for Stella
  • going to the end of the movie, where Stella told Sarah that she herself didn’t do anything wrong? When the first time they went to Sarah’s house, she should not picked up the book!

I’m upset, but I know some people might love the movie. But you don’t have to mind the things written above if you love the movie. It’s just me…

So now let’s jump to the movie I want to share. It was 2016 when I wrote something about it.

“The Exorcism of Emily Rose”


And nope, I don’t like to include a promotional poster of that movie.

The trailer said that “witness the disturbing story of Emily Rose.” I didn’t know yet why it was disturbing, until we finished watching. Well me, I was disturbed about the 3am that a priest have said in this movie. These aren’t the exact words: 3am is the time where some entities are trying to be in someone’s body. And, that it is opposite of the 3pm where Jesus Christ was reborn (or died?). I wasn’t so sure about the last sentence. But it is about Jesus Christ.

I was always waking up around that hour. But that night that movie was all I could recall, and I’m a bit scared. BUT, with God Father’s mercy, nothing more. I believe it is because I just can’t take it off my mind so easily that I’m able to recall it. And maybe because I’m really disturbed a bit.

I first suspect the place, her dormitory where it all started. Maybe it was so old, has a rare and frightening history. Because nothing happened to her throughout her life except when she had to leave her town and move away to unfamiliar place. She might have nights where she forgot to pray or talk to God.

Anyways, there’s a verse that I read after days when I watched the movie:

Put yourselves to the test and judge yourselves, to find out wether you are living in faith. Surely you know that Christ Jesus is in you — unless you have completely failed.

2 Corinthians 13:5

I had a quick idea of watching that movie again, the exorcism, to have a better description. But I don’t think of doing that. I don’t want to experience anything again. I’m more of “one is enough, two is too much” kind of person. Besides, I’m extremely glad with my spiritual life now.

~ 🎼 ~

Escape Plan

When you’re in melancholy, do you immediately go away even for a short while?

Do you have certain place you could visit to?

Because, you know, there’s always a moment when unhappiness suddenly visits you.

When it visit me sometimes during work hours, after I’m done with work for that day, I walk.

I also plug my earphones too, to listen to music.

My major anti-melancholy songs by the band Starfield.

I can go to malls (and I think that’s my only escape for now).

But, I’m very uncomfortable traveling by myself in unfamiliar places, even if it’s just a 1 or 2-hours time.

That’s why, when melancholy visits me, all I can do for now is to walk it off.

π‘Šπ‘Žπ‘™π‘˜π‘–π‘›π‘” π‘’π‘›π‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘›π‘–π‘”β„Žπ‘‘ π‘ π‘˜π‘¦,

𝑖𝑑 β„Žπ‘’π‘™π‘π‘  π‘šπ‘’ π‘‘π‘œ π‘π‘Žπ‘™π‘š π‘‘π‘œπ‘€π‘›.

When I typed for this post, I thought I have no escape during melancholy times.

But as I typed more, I realized that it’s God who helps me.

God is my escape plan.

Be Ready, Be Prepared Pt. 2

Are you also waiting for God’s time for your dreams to become reality?

Then being ready and prepared is what we need!

No matter how old we are to achieve our dreams, I will always remind you, and myself as well, to start on it. Or maybe, resume on it.

#BeReadyBePrepared #NotTooLate #LiveYourDream #EverydayIsANewBeginning