So I took a video of myself (I try to cover a song). Of course I’m ugly, nothing new… Though I should be depressed, there’s nothing I can do about my looks. (This doesn’t really have a connection to my post 😅)
I just like to share what I realized about one of my goals..
I think I should stop forcing myself to grab the time, which I don’t feel bestowed to me willingly, just to take videos of covering songs.
I came up with the realization because:
- Though I have little time left before noises emerge outside our house, I could still take videos… sometimes. I’m almost accustomed now that around 4 or 5pm is the start of the noises outside. So I think that’s fine now.
- So I also set up where my phone is located to take videos. But the thing is I don’t know what song to play! What is even happening to meyy! There’s usually this weird feeling where I’m excited to play a song, but then as I’m sitting, holding my guitar, and looking at myself on the phone, the weird feeling is lost, and the ending, the little time is wasted! Seriously.. -_-
- Frustration. I’m getting old, and I want to begin now for this passion.
- Patience. Truth is, this is really limited for me, and in me.
- Also I think I’m not prepared enough. Yes I practice in my free time. But just this year was the very time I’m practicing a lot. As I looked back, I know my free time before was not enough. And I know I don’t play the songs fully.
I think those kinds of struggles are what God tries to tell me.
To tell me to stop: “Stop. This is not the little time for you. Don’t take videos, just practice for now. Again.”
Now I just recognized I’m just beginning to be a musician. I’m just beginning to actually achieve the dream, for real.
Or maybe I’ve just been more focused to the dream. That I’m realizing and looking back on these things. And because I’m more focused, I clearly understand these things and what I have to do…
~ 🎼 ~